Wednesday Devotional

I'm not gonna lie.....the past 24 hours have been hell on earth. Yesterday morning started off with a tutoring session at UCO for the demon beast that is Algebra. In order to get the full effect, I must first fill you in on the back story of Algebra Tutoring.

So, I'm taking this Flex-Ed Algebra course that is just where you buy the text book, teach yourself, and show up for test day. Bad idea, right? I considered dropping it and just taking it at a traditional campus like OCCC where their classes tend to be a little less challenging (*piece of cake). I picked my mom's brain about it and she thought I should just stick it out and try tutoring (I would loose half the money of the course by dropping at that date....$250). I called Tutoring Central at UCO and spoke with *Chris. (*The name has definitely not been changed to protect the innocent, his name is Chris). I explained to Chris that I haven't had Algebra since my Jr. year of high school and my new Algebra assignments aren't really clicking. He informed me over the phone that he is a Math Ed major and he loves teaching Math. He loves his TI-8 million and would love to show me how that can be my best friend in Algebra. I decide not to drop the class and give it a try. Day #1 of tutoring I meet Chris. He's a large boy with a full beard and Star Wars T-shirt. He doesn't get my humor and he spent 1 hour using words I didn't understand but helped me work through some problems I had from my assignments. I realized then that I don't even know enough about what I am doing to ask the right questions. I basically see how the odd problems are solved and try to extrapolate that onto my other problems.....I'm not learning Algebra, I'm learning the patterns on how to answer problems. No bueno. Day #2 of tutoring, I had 6 problems that I was unable to solve from my last week's work. We got through 2 of them (this is after him using words I don't understand and I told him I had no clue what he was referring to. He said I should know that, looked through my text book, realized I don't yet need to know that, and then proceeded to teach me anyway) when he stands up, hikes up his jeans to reveal un-tied ankle braces (Please read ankle braces again). I asked if he was going somewhere and he responded, "Class, can't be late." as he walked out of the building. Awesome. I got in my car and cried until I realized people were staring.

So that was yesterday morning. Then, in the afternoon, I learned of some terrible news that will basically result in me losing about $8,000....money I need desperately until our house sells. No, not a scary gambling deal gone wrong. Regardless of the situation, we are going to have to seek legal action. I don't have time for a legal battle, I have Algebra homework. Oh, and I accepted that part time drug rep job and I start home study on Monday. YIKES!!! Needless to say, I have a crap ton on my plate right now and I've never cried so much in a 12 hour period. I'm stressed, not sleeping, and the stress has let my immune system take a break so now I am sick. Again, no bueno.

I called my mom yesterday in tears. My mom, the best advice giver I know (except for that Algebra thing) didn't have any advice for me. She couldn't even think of a next step, a plan, or anything. Her only advice was to pray and trust God, because this problem was bigger than me or anyone else. I was, sadly, unsatisfied with that response. I wanted a detailed plan I could follow step by step until it was resolved. I needed a quick fix to take that elephant off my chest. This morning, as my mom is traveling to a sunny beach vacation, she forwarded me this devotional. I have included it in hopes that someone else can take something from this.

You Obey God by Trusting God
by Tom Holladay


But Joseph had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus. Matthew 1:25 (NIV)

Today's devotional is by Tom Holladay, teaching pastor at Saddleback Church.

"There are two ways you can live your life. You can live feeling like God owes you an explanation or you can live realizing God has given you great gifts."

Some people are good at the immediate. They can jump right into anything, but they are not good at 'keeping on keeping on.' And other people are good at lasting, but it takes them a long time to get there.

To live the exciting life of faith that God has planned for you, you need to be good at both the immediate and the lasting. And both of those require that you keep on trusting.

Joseph didn't understand what it meant for Jesus to have a virgin birth; he didn't understand Jesus would be God in human flesh. But he knew what God told him to do and so Joseph kept on trusting. He was a newlywed who didn't get a honeymoon, and his new marriage was not anything like he planned, but he still kept trusting.

What are you going to do when life doesn't work out like you planned or wanted?

I am always encouraged by what the apostle Paul says in 2 Corinthians 4:8, "We are pressed on every side by troubles, but not crushed and broken. We are perplexed because we don't know why things happen as they do, but we don't give up and quit" (LB).

I don't know why some people are diagnosed with terminal cancer. I don't know why some children rebel so strongly against their parents. I don't know why so many things happen that don't make sense. So it's encouraging to hear one of the greatest men of faith say, "I don't know why thing happen as they do, but I still choose to not give up."

It's good to know that we can trust God and that he knows things we don't. He has promised that one day he will set everything right. One day he will bring everyone who trusts in him together.

Until then there are two ways you can live your life. You can live feeling like God owes you an explanation or you can live realizing God has given you great gifts.

If you live life feeling like God owes you an explanation, you will only wind up in a constant state of bitterness because God doesn't owe you anything.

But even though he doesn't owe you anything, he has given you everything. He gave you his own Son. He gave you the gift of eternal life. He gave you the promise of being together with him forever. Those are great gifts.

Wasn't that fitting. Goose Bumps. I love how God works through others to comfort His own. I love that we, as Christ followers, have entered into a holy covenant with Him and he is doing his darnedest to drill through our thick, clouded, doubting minds that he is the ultimate Problem Solver. My mom is right. My problems are bigger than me. I am pressed on all sides but I will not break.....as long as I am seeking His guidance and trusting in His wisdom.