Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Hello, my name is Tracy.

Twenty six years ago, I was SNU School for Children's brightest up-and-comer. I had a far more advanced vocabulary than a four year old should have and I had motor skills out that wazoo. I tested out of preschool (in case you are wondering: all that is required to test out of preschool is walking forward and backwards on a masking tape line, reading some words, counting, etc). However, my genius mother didn't want to have any of her kids in high school at the same time. So she opted to keep me in preschool. I had so gifts, skills, and....an identity crisis.

One day, my mom started noticing my papers coming home with Tracy written on them. I had officially changed my name. I insisted on being called Tracy and wouldn't answer to LaNeale. She had to have known this day was coming. Let's be honest, a name like LaNeale is not bound to stick. The school called to inform my mom of my new found identity and they asked her what she wanted them to do. She said, "call her Tracy". There was only one problem with the scenario...."Tracy" had glasses. I concocted an elaborate scheme that would result in me wearing glasses. I would squint during school, but only when someone was looking. How did I know squinting meant that you can't see clearly? No one in my family wore glasses or contacts.....I guess I just wanted to be a trailblazer. At home, I complained of not being able to see or read my letters. So, my mom did what any responsible parent would do, she took me to the pediatrician. At my appointment, the nurse handed me a cardboard capital "E". I was instructed to turn the E to match the E on the card at the end of the hall. If the E was pointed with the three "legs" up to the sky, I would point them down. If the E's legs were pointed right, I wouldn't point mine left. The nurse told my mom that she should be concerned. Some kids see things backwards, it's called dyslexia, and she thinks I have it. My mom's response, "I think she wants glasses".

We came home and my mom, (did I mention she is a genius) took out a pen and paper. She would write letters and I would flub them up. She wrote down a lower case "b" and I said, "that's a "d". She said, "That's right LaNeale, great job"! I replied, "No it's not, it's a b"! Optically challenged faker fail. And that ended my quest for spectacles.

Today, that four-year-old wish was granted. I've always had better than 20/20 vision. I had one eye exam just to use our insurance five or six years ago and my eye's looked great. In fact, I kinda always make fun of C-Rob for being so stinkin' blind. About a month ago, I started noticing things getting blurry while I was reading my text books and doing homework. When I drive home from my night class, the lights are blurry. I started getting headaches. Oh great. So, after a routine eye exam, I was prescribed reading glasses. The doctor informed me that one eye is near-sighted but wearing my reading glasses during school work should hold off full blown glasses for awhile. He said that my eyes are just tired so the reading glasses would allow them to not not have to work as hard. Wouldn't you know it, I turn 30 and I can't see. This is fabulous. I have decided that just for today, I will only be answering to Tracy....or four eyes.