God is good! (and so is financial aid)

So. I'm going to be honest here. The past couple of weeks have been a little rough. It all started the night I opened my college algebra book. Ummmm....no comprende. No bueno. I actually had to go online and find a tutorial of beginner and then intermediate algebra. It's brutal. I don't even remember how to add, subtract, multiply and divide fractions. Factoring? Forget it. Ugh. I bought a graphing calculator and I have no clue how to even use it.....even after reading the manual. Twice. So I can basically figure out enough to do my assignments but unless the tests are open book and the answers are in the back, I'm screwed. In hindsight, I should have taken the actual class instead of attempting to teach myself from my textbook and mail in my assignments. I'm quite certain, however, that I will NEVER need to know how to graph functions and identify a graphed quadratic equation. Gross. It is just defeating. I have never not "got" anything in my life. School has always been incredibly easy for me. Self-doubt enters stage left.

We also haven't had much of a response on the house. We've only had 1 showing and she was elderly so not interested in our upstairs master. We knew that would be an issue. It was perfect for us having a baby on the way but not many people want to share a wall with both of their kids! I know it only takes 1 person, but I was discouraged about the response. I will say we have a fantastic realtor, Simon. He set up a website for our home (www.newmandrive.com) and utilizes social media. I love that!

I also went against my better judgement and bought a car before our house sold. My brother bought it for us at auction and it was fabulous! It was a '04 Cadillac SRX. It was a little more than I wanted to spend but it was perfect for me and the kids. It looked completely brand new and had a DVD player already built in. I took it to get "checked out" and we found a massive oil leak. Boooo. Long story short, we were able to get our money back because it was misrepresented as a car in perfect condition. I was bummed. I loved that car. So after all these events, I was just feeling down and started to second guess my decision to go back to school. Did someone say Satan? I felt like I couldn't afford it and that I wouldn't be able to keep up in class. And then things took a turn.

This weekend I was able to shadow my friend, Sarah, who is a PA in the ER in Dallas. Shadowing is an application requirement into the PA program. Sarah works the 3pm-2am shift. I was nervous about staying awake and looking like a poser in scrubs. I. Had. A. Blast. Her ER isn't a trauma center so there wasn't anything too horrific. Nothing I gagged at. Success! I have a looooong way to go but the ER is definitely a place I would like to be. And can I tell you how fabulous it is to wear scrubs? Coming from a world where I wore a suit 80% of the time, I am anxiously awaiting a time where it doesn't matter what you eat for lunch, your clothes will still fit and not be painful!

Simon (our realtor) hosted a brokers open at our house yesterday. I think it was a tour of 4 or 5 homes with our house being the last stop. He said they had about 40 realtors come through and the feedback was VERY positive. They also gave away one of my Stella & Dot necklaces so I was able to do some advertising through that! A twofer!

And my best news came today. I received a letter from UCO stating I was awarded a full tuition waiver for 2 years due to my academic and leadership achievements! I literally screamed out loud (SOL) and immediately thanked God for this validation and blessing. Obviously going from one income down to two is a little terrifying and I'm sure we will have many struggles as we go, but at least undergrad tuition won't be one of them. Thank you Jesus.

So needless to say, I'm on a little bit of a high today. My Stella & Dot business is doing well and I feel like I am contributing to the family. It will, at the very least, ease the financial unease of the holiday season and keep the kiddos looking un-homeless. All in all....I'm mentally/emotionally in a good place.

Oh.....but I still suck at algebra. I mean really suck.